A Quantum Leap!

Sometimes it takes a Quantum Leap to get something started. It can be a new healthier living lifestyle or a change in behavior like shutting off the TV at night or it can be sticking to a budget that you've set, over and over again.

What is it that keeps you stuck there? Why do we feel like we try over and over again to get on the right track and it is so elusive? Maybe it just means that the pain of remaining the same isn't great enough yet to force you to take that action. Sometimes that pain becomes greater because we apply the pressure ourselves and sometimes it takes someone else applying the pressure. It can be a turning point in your life that many of us have experienced, those jolting events that command our attention. It could be in the form of a crisis, like a divorce or job loss. Or they may be smaller events that challenge your beliefs, values and your priorities.

If it is enough to make us feel badly and have that feeling of "why am I stuck here?" Then it might be time for a quantum leap.
A quantum leaps explanation is "any sudden change or advance in program policy." -Webster's dictionary Or "It is the link between two entirely separate locations, events or ideas, that magical moment when the previously inexplicable is suddenly explained and a radical new theory is born. - Science Digest

I love the part about "a magical moment... and a radical new theory is born"! If you've ever experienced a quantum leap in your life you know that's exactly how it feels and then your mind once expanded cannot return to it's original state. Once you take a quantum leap and experience a radical change you most probably will not go back to your old ways and that's why it's worth the risk to go there! Not only that, but I believe the energy that you will gain by taking action is unmeasurable and it will give you what you need to continue in the right direction. It may be true that a locomotive takes constant effort and starts ever so slowly until it builds up steam and then it is hard to stop, but in this case I'm thinking it's like a rocket going off! One big blast and everything is set into motion and you are climbing higher and higher in a matter of seconds!

So what does it take to make a quantum leap? Let me make it really simple.... a decision. Yes, that's the answer, a decision. You have to decide that there is no turning back. That whatever it is that your going to try to take a quantum leap to attain is worth it. Worth the effort, worth the risk and what you truly want, because if it is not then there is no reason to even go there.

I can remember when I was going through my recovery for overspending and I had finally gotten clear on my problem. It was one of the most detrimental things in my life and although I was in denial for a long time and it took some pretty deep pain to get me to the point of change, I will never forget the day I said "no more!" When my thoughts shifted and believe it or not I knew at that moment that I'd never go back, that my thoughts about it where now different and I wanted it so badly I was not going to allow myself to slip back into those bad habits. My mind had been expanded. I no longer thought the way I once did about spending and I knew it was a quantum leap.

I have tried before to make that quantum leap with something that I was not as passionate about and found that it just doesn't work. It was a career goal that I wasn't entirely sure I wanted with a passion and I wanted to make a quantum leap happen to just get to the end result and partly it was because I only wanted it because others wanted it for me. In that case it just doesn't work. You can't fool your mind into believing you really want something when you don't.
I see people do this all the time with diet and exercise. They say they want to be healthier or that they want to lose weight but they back it up with all of the excuses why it won't work for them. They've already decided that they cannot give up ice cream and that an occasional burger and fries won't hurt them. But before they know it they are convincing themselves that a burger a week is okay. It is true that you don't have to give up everything, and totally deprive yourself your likes, but occasional might mean once a month and even then it means a scoop of ice cream not a whole huge bowl or a whole container! The problem is they don't want it bad enough. They are not all in yet. They are still on the fence deciding if they really want to be that committed. At that point a quantum leap won't work.

You've got to be all in, no turning back! Something you want so much it drives you crazy and you want to be "different", not the same as you've always been. You have to want to change. Then you can take that step and it needs to be a huge step. A "barf bag" goal! Something that makes you a little queasy when you think about it. Your mentality needs to be "I'm going to do things totally differently from here on out! I'm not just making a small change but I am rearranging my whole attempt! If a football player wants to make the starting team but for 4 years he's been the backup player in that position, do you think a small change here or there will get him the starting spot? Likely not. He has to totally dedicate himself to a quantum leap. It may mean not taking an off season and working twice as hard as anybody else when most are taking some down time. He might have to be the first to practice and the last one to leave, giving 100% each day. He may have to hire outside experts to get him to a level he's never reached before, but if he does all that and is a radically different player come the new season, you can bet someone is going to notice. And that's how he can surpass the starting player in his position.

What position do you want to hold? What is it that you really want to change? Sit down and write it out. Give yourself the "why" of being there. What drives you to make this change? Make a list so big that you realize that there is no way you don't want to achieve this because the "why" is too big! It means to much to you not to give it your all and change your destiny.

Then develop an action plan. Think way far out of your box here, the sky is the limit! Go above and beyond what you think your limits will be. This is your goal list of "if I do all of these things then I am sure to succeed". Then begin telling yourself that you WILL succeed! You will find a way to make it happen. And say it so much to yourself that you BELIEVE it! And no one will be able to push you off course, because your convictions are too strong! Then Go To Work! Every day give it your best effort at attaining your goals and making it happen. You are a rocket that has been blasted off and you are heading upward with such force and there is nothing that can slow you down! Put it in your space everyday so that you are looking at your goals and reminding yourself of that power you have going on. Don't get complacent by not having it in your thoughts at all times.

Then.... watch what happens! :)

What are you waiting for?

So many of us want something more out of life. We want a better job, a better life and to just be happier. Well have you thought about what it would take to MAKE you happier? Have you really put some thought into it?

What took me a long time to realize was that the life I had was the life I created. Even if it wasn't the life I wanted. All the decisions I've made, all the circumstances I've been through have brought me to this place, right now, right here, right exactly where I am. If it could be played back to me in a movie, like my life flashing before my eyes, I bet there would be parts...no, I know there would be many parts, that I'd want to edit or change or rewrite. But it is the choices I've made that brought me to here. For some people that is REALLY uncomfortable! They don't want to think about it or explore it and most certainly don't want to take responsibility for it. It can be a big pill to swallow.

We've all done things that we regret, or said things that we wish we could take back and some of those things are huge! Scary and huge and we'd just rather forget them or put them back in the dark and never bring them out again. But I'm here to tell you that you must let the scariest of things into the light because they are like a fungus... they just continue to grow in the darkness. In the light they don't appear so big and once you handle them, they get smaller.

I encourage you to look back at those things with forgiveness in your heart. Not just for others, but mostly for yourself. Forgive you for the mistakes you have made and then move on.

I have been haunted by the thought sometimes of "what if this is all there is?" What if life where complete today? Would I have accomplished the things I've wanted to? Would I be the person I wanted to be? Or would I have regrets and feel like so much was unfinished. But I do know that if I'm constantly looking back on what could have been, it is the wrong place to put my efforts. I can't do anything about what's already been done. I heard once "it's not important what you've done in the past. What matters most is what you do with today and forward." What matters most is who you are from now on.

So why don't I have exactly the life I desire? Why don't I have all the money I need, all the friends I can handle and all the love one person wants? I think about these things often. I dream about my "perfect" life and what exactly I'd want out of it. So what is it that I am doing to hold it up? Am I always thinking positively about it? Or am I wishing it away for some reason? All things are energy that you are either attracting to you or pushing away from you. What is your body and mind sending out as energy? For me it is fear. I can't nail it down for you or tell you exactly what it is I'm afraid of all I know is that at times I am frozen by fear. So I begin to sabotage myself. By not making the best use of my time. By restarting projects and not finishing what I've started. By beating myself up for the past instead of truly forgiving myself for my short comings. All these things hold me back and send out the wrong energy.

But what I've come to realize is "what am I waiting for?" Really? What needs to be all lined up and right all at the same time in order for me to move forward toward my dreams? All the lights are never green all at the same time! You can't set sail until you put your sails up in the air where the wind can catch them. You will drown if you do not swim! The answer is "there is NOTHING to wait for!" Now is the time, right now, today! If I don't feel confident about something I probably haven't done it enough. If I'm worried I'll fail, I haven't tried enough times and put in enough effort. Now is the time. I have to take action and the action puts everything in motion and draws the good energy of all the things I want out of life to me. Without action the SCARIEST thing will happen. I will remain the same. Nothing will change and in 5 years I'll be right here, where I'm at... waiting for something to happen. I don't have that kind of time. Frankly, time is running out every minute of every day and I know God did not guarantee me a tomorrow, so I may have less time than I even realized.

Act today! Do it today! Make it happen today! Start right now and BE the person you want to be and in a few short months you'll realize you are becoming that person and if you don't stop long enough to let fear creep in, you will BE that person you've always wanted to be, doing what you've always wanted to do and then you can look back at your life with pride and no longer have regrets. Obstacles will come, they always do, but it's what you do with them, not what they do to you that will make all the difference in where you end up!

Go out and live your dreams starting right now, today!!

When is the last time you dreamed... I mean dreamed BIG!

Today I am empowered by my dreams, they are my fuel, my energy and my mission in life to leave my mark, to make a difference and I have a sense of urgency because time just keeps flying by every day!

It got me thinking about the last time you truly "dreamed" not just a day dream, but a dream so big it got your heart racing and you got that tingly feeling all over? For some, it has been years ago and somewhere along the line you decided that dreams where things that were too big and never happened anyways so why dream them. Who told you that?

Unfortunately we let outside influences sometimes make those decisions for us. We begin to believe the people who tell you you can't, or that won't work etc. No one else but you can unleash your power that you have inside of you right now! You are beautiful, you are perfect just the way you are, you are everything you need and you are worthy of all your dreams. God would not put a dream in your heart that he didn't give you the power to achieve. But all the negatives that surround us sometimes can tear that down and we begin to buy into it not working out.

I want to be the most amazing women I know. I want to inspire others to drop their shell and let their true light shine! I want to use my true potential and turn it in to something amazing. I do not want my life to pass me by with my potential unused. Time is ticking....

I am working at transforming my life, one step at a time. I am working at really BEING the women I want to be and stepping out of the shadows of doubt and approaching it head on! Why not? What do I have to lose except unused potential? Right?

It starts with getting up each morning and taking inventory of my day. What do I want to accomplish? Where do I want to go? And who do I want to be today? Then getting excited about those things and hitting the ground running. By noon I want a sense of accomplishment for the day so far. Did I get my exercise in? Am I eating right? Am I working hard at those goals that will take me to accomplishing my dreams? And I'll be honest with you, I have some not so good habits that I am working to correct and it takes effort to change a bad habit into a good one, but in 30 days or so it is so worth it because then I know I've developed a new habit that is propelling me toward where I want to be!

Each of us has a story and one yet to write. I am energized and enthused about mine yet to write. It doesn't matter what's in the past its the future that is important. It's what you do today that will help to leave your legacy. Each day is a fresh start, so if yesterday wasn't so good, rejoice in today and take it head on! YOU can DO and BE anything you set your mind to! Doesn't that make you just want to fist pump!! LOL!

So no matter where you come from or what has been done to you, YOU control your destiny and you do it with your attitude. Every day we get a choice of having a good day or a bad day. Are you going to let the little things creep in and ruin your AMAZING day - if you plan in advance that you won't you'll be right.

Live boldly! Live Passionately! Live life to the fullest, because we only get one time around this life.

The Power to keep going...

I am saddened by the fact that some people choose to give up on themselves, on their lives, on finding happiness etc. I've seen people give up on their goal of losing weight because the road gets too tough, and they struggle with staying on track and so they throw their hands in the air and say "I give up" and they settle for mediocre in their lives and staying stuck right where they are. Forgive me, but I just want to shake them and say "Are you kidding me??!!!" It's too hard so I'm not going to try? You HAVE to try!

I have went to a funerals of people who didn't want to live anymore. I've known people who never fully recover from an injury because it was too hard to continue therapy past what the Doctor ordered. I had a friend of a friend who was 56 and got cancer for the second time and decided she didn't want to face radiation and passed away. The cancer won. I've know people who said in their old age that they were tired and ready to go. I do understand that and I know people have their individual reasons, but it saddens me. I pray that when the last breath leaves my body that I am kicking and fighting to stay alive. We only get one chance to live this life and I want all of it!! Every last second I can get because I'll never have a chance to "try it again".

I've also heard of a story of a women who lost her left arm and leg in an automobile accident and through recovering from that ill fated day she came back stronger and healthier than ever. The rest of her body is in the best shape it's ever been in, in her life. She decided to fight!

It's a women who has faced cancer coming back 5 times and she has been through more chemo and radiation than a body should be able to withstand, but you know what, she's not giving up! She continues to move forward and work when she can and she has a mission in life and it propels her forward.

Then there was the lady I heard years back who had been beaten raped and left for dead who said, "they got one day of my life I will not let them affect much more than that. What I do with the rest of it defines me".

What is it that makes one person persevere and another throw in the towel? I think it's their belief and faith for one and next I think it's their attitude. If you decide that the fight is too hard to face and you won't make it.... you won't. But if you believe that no matter what faces you, that you will continue to fight with all that you have and some how some way you will make it..... you will - I believe that!! I believe that the human spirit is amazing and that the will to live is STRONGER than we even know and for those who fight it has power beyond belief.

But you have to want it. And it goes deeper than wanting to live. We may never face those kinds of odds. But we do face everyday challenges and trials and how we choose to face those can define our life. If we always pick ourselves up by our boot straps and trudge forward no matter what we are facing we will choose to do that when the rubber hits the road and we HAVE to to survive. It's an attitude that you get from doing it over and over again. I urge you that you are worth the fight!!! You deserve your best effort. In making your eating choices so that you can live a healthy lifestyle and live a longer happier life. You have to keep getting in the gym and picking up the weights to gain the muscle you want to see and you can't cover it up with fat from bad choices and be happy about it. If you want a better life, you have to go after it. You can't sit and wait for it to come to you. You deserve ALL you desire! Have the tenacity to DO what it is you want to do. Be Bold, be tough and never see yourself quit. If you don't do it now, you won't do it when your life is on the line. You will fight with all your might and defy the odds to overcome whatever it is that is standing in your way. Mark my words I will continue to fight, to set my schedule to pursue my passions, to keep trying even when others tell me I can't because they do not know my spirit, I get to decide and I am deciding to be a winner and continue to fight for what I want out of life and that includes a good long life.

Go out and make it happen. Have a bull dog mentality... when you decide you want something, dig your teeth in and don't let go! And if you fail, bravo! At least you tried and I guarantee you will be better for it by trying than to never have given it your best effort. You decide.

Life isn't fair, but it's still good!!

I got this from a friend and thought it was really good... a lot to think about here, but worth the read!

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good!
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when your sick, your friends and parents will...stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month! ****
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.****
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't hurt your future.
12. It's okay if your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life with others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
17. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
18. When it come to going after your passion in life, don't take no for an answer.
19. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.
20. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
22. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In a few years, will this matter?"
23. Always choose life.
24. Forgive everyone everything.
25. What other people think of you is none of your business.
26. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
27. However good or bad the situation, it will change.
28. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
29. Believe in miracles!
30. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
31. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
32. Growing old beats the alternative.
33. Your children only get one childhood your in charge of.
34. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved completely.
35. Get outside everyday. Miracles are waiting out there.
36. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone elses, we'd grab ours back.
37. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
38. The best is yet to come!
39. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
40. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a beautiful gift!

Hope it really made you think as much as it did me :)

Creating a Healthy Spending Habit

Some of you might think...what is a spending habit and how do I make it healthy? Sounds a little odd, but it is necessary.
A spending habit is a plan on how and when you will spend your money, kind of like a budget but that is a whole other topic. This is more a plan of what type of things you will spend discretionary income on and when its okay to make purchases to stay in line with your financial plan (and your dreams).

This is a topic often overlooked. Most people set a budget and try to stick to it...or not and never really think about a plan for the rest of their spending. It was a new idea to me too at one point but now I love it. It keeps me on track with my goals and gives me a real sense of satisfaction when I do spend.

Not counting your bills, the monthly expenses that you have and pay to "keep the lights on" etc., think about what other money you spend. How many times do you eat out? Is that accounted for in your budget? When do you go clothes shopping, or do you just shop when the urge strikes you? If you are the later you may really think about this because the people who shop when the urge hits them are usually the ones who spend more than they wanted to or had budgeted. When you walk into Target do you only come out with what you went in for? Or is it a $100 later and a cart full of things that weren't on the list?

I relate spending to eating often because in a way they are both things people struggle with keeping in line and they are both things we have to do. You can't NOT eat and you can't NOT ever make a purchase. In my over spending days, I could spend $100 extra dollars at the grocery store, just because I was there and it was a reason to shop. I'd buy makeup, hair and body products even socks, because it fulfilled my shopping need.

So what I'm trying to get you to think about is "do you really need it?" or are you just buying it because it's there or it's on sale.

I have so much spending money I take out per week. This money is for extras that aren't in the budget. Clothes shopping, makeup (not the necessary kind, the fun stuff) lunch out with a friend etc. At the beginning of the week I look at what I have coming up that week, do I have a lunch scheduled? If so I set aside approx. how much I'll need for that and then the rest is my spending money. If I want to really shop and not look at price tags then I know I need to save as much of my spending money as possible for a few weeks and then when I go I have no guilt, no regret I just shop and buy what I want. So much more rewarding than just sticking it on a credit card and then regretting later when the bill comes. But the point is I plan out what that money will be used for. Before I'd spend and then about the time my money was gone, I'd find or think about what it was I really wanted and it would be too late. I'd be out of money.

If you like to eat out, plan how many times this month or pay period you would like to do that. Then stick to it. Use only the money you had planned on using for those meals and if you splurge on the first one, then maybe you don't get to go out to eat the next week. But make yourself accountable. Lack of planning does not count. If you are getting home a little late from work that is not a reason to eat out. The meal for that night should have been planned and possibly prepped and then you can stay on track.

My husband and I have a plan that neither of us can be out and spend more than $100 without first talking about it. This does not mean you have to answer to someone, it's just accountability. He is my voice of reason and I am his. If he is at Costco picking up a few things and really wants that flat screen TV instead of loading it up, he'd call and I'd say we have blank, blank and blank we decided we would buy first before we even think about the TV, because it's not needed. If I find a dynamite pair of pumps but they are over $100 then he might tell me of the new curtains I want for our bedroom that we talked about being our next purchase. There are those occasions when I really want something and it's a good deal etc. or he does and we say okay, go ahead and get it and we'll just put "x" further down on the list of our things we want to do.

This list I talk about is our priority list of things we want. No limits just sit down together and list it all out. A new front door, new carpeting, a new suit, or parts for his Harley. We agree to the priority of these things and that they are our most wanted items. Then when one of us is thinking of an impulse buy, we remind each other of our list and whatever is the top priority item on the list at that time.

Not only does this keep us on track financially it makes us feel like we are in this together and working toward a common goal. And when I know we have each others backs and we are working together those pumps don't look that attractive anymore.

1. Make your priority list
2. Decide how much spending money you need and what is coming up in the week it will need to be spent on.
3. Stick to the plan!!!! I promise the self esteem you'll get by doing it far outweighs the instant gratification of an impulse buy.

Now it's like a game to me, I know the big retailers are banking on me making impulse buys while I'm there and I'm out to beat them and only get what's on my list and end up the rich one in the end. After all my goal is not to make them financially successful it's to make ME and my FAMILY financially successful!

Ridding your life of negativity

Ever heard the statement "garbage in - garbage out" ? I never knew what it meant until I was an adult and began to realize that not everyone I hung around with was a positive person. And I also realized that I enjoyed the positive people much more than the ones who sucked the life out of me with their negativity.



"Are people excited when you walk into a room, or excited when you leave?"



I don't think any of us want to be the person that excites people when we leave the room. We want to interact with people, make new friends, feel good about the conversations we've had and feel like we made an impression on people. How dreadful that it might be the wrong impression!



To be a positive person who gives energy to others it takes some work. Lot's of us are somewhat positive every day, but without the proper "prepping" for our day it can only take a few hours and things seem to be heading down a negative path. The coffee pot ran over, your toast burned, the kids won't get up, etc. etc. It's important to take a little time to "prep" your day with affirmations of what you want the day to be or some positive visualization.

But let's talk first about surrounding yourself with positive people and places and habits that can fuel your positive attitude. I was taught years ago to make a list of the top 20 people in your life. They can be family members, co-workers, or friends and acquaintances. Now draw a line down the middle of that piece of paper and on the left put a "+" sign and on the right column put a "-" sign. Now, don't think too much, just go down your list and put a check mark in the column that applies to that person. Do they give you energy? Are they always encouraging? Do they make you smile? Or are they life suckers, always drama, never happy. These are the kind of people that when you ask them "how are you?" they tell you all about some problem they have. Imagine if you could always hang out with the ones who fill you up? How awesome would your day be? The idea is that at some point you need to adjust your list so that your top 20 ARE those positive people! Start cutting out the negative ones. They will suck the life right out of you, and pretty soon you won't have much to give, to your spouse, your kids or your life.

Next considering not going to places that don't make you feel happy. Seems simple right? But I know someone who frequents the same restaurant and does nothing but complain about the service always being bad. Why would you do that to yourself?!! If there is a coffee shop that has friendly Batista's and they know you by name and you always leave with a smile.... go there! If your single friend always wants to drag you along to a club and you are there thinking what am I doing here, this place doesn't make me feel good, then don't go. Don't waste your energy. It's way to precious!! Ever notice that the people with the most drama in their life continually are always the most tired? It all connects.

And last but not least, ditch the bad habits of your life. They can be sucking the energy out of you also! If you continually do something that doesn't make you feel good it's time to break the habit. Maybe it's overeating or not budgeting etc. Realize that it takes 21 days to form a habit and I think if you are trying to change one and replace it with a new one, it can take even longer. But set a goal to take the next 21 days and put your new goal in front of you every day and go about changing it! You'll be amazed at the energy that comes from you when you do things you like to be doing and stop doing the things that take up too much energy.

A word of caution: some of these things are very close. The most negative person in your life might just be your spouse or your mother, you will have to find a way to deal with that and hopefully move in a new direction with them. Some of the places that are most negative might just be where you work! And some of the habits, like smoking or drinking too much, you might have to find some extra help with to change that pattern, but it will be worth it!