I know that title is probably a tough one to stomach for some of you. Sometimes we just don't want to believe it. I know for me I have always felt like I had this "huge potential" inside of me. I felt like I was on the verge of something and that my dreams where just within my own reach and soon I would be there. Where? Right where I wanted to be, being the person I wanted to be and having the things, relationships, courage, strength and fortitude that I had always desired. But, ultimately I was lying to myself. Why? Because I was still stuck in a victim state of mind. As much as I remained positive and had an optimistic outlook, I was still buying into the victim side of me. And as long as I was doing that, I was not going to move forward. I would stay stuck. Not advancing my career, not making more money, not enriching my relationships, but right where I was still with "huge potential" but not sure how to ever bring that into fruition.
Sometimes we set goals and create a "5 year plan" and we may even put all that to paper and create vision boards and smaller goals to get us to our ultimate goals. And then time passes and we look back and we are still where we were. It can be frustrating and frankly discouraging. I often thought "why isn't this happening for me?" or "what am I doing wrong?" Guess what? A victim mentality.
That is what those questions tell me today. I was being a victim instead of really looking at what it was that was holding me back. If you are asking "why?" your not ready yet to move past whatever it is that's holding you back. Once my mindset switched to "I will make it happen!" and "I am doing this!" things have started to shift. It no longer matters why it hasn't. Who cares!! Do I want to spend my life looking back or moving forward? Some of those things I will never have the answers to and truthfully I don't need the answers to them. I just need to chalk them up to experience and MOVE ON!!! Move on with the attitude that nothing is going to stop me. I am a freight train that is gaining momentum. Ever tried to stop a freight train? It is a powerful force. How could a measly little question of "why did this happen to me?" even compete with a powerful force? It can't!
The only way to get to this point is to ask yourself the really tough questions and be willing to answer them... truthfully! The questions like "why did I create this for me?" Because ultimately you did. You created everything in your life with your actions, your choices and your beliefs. You are where you are because of the path you've taken. That last sentence was tough to swallow but taking responsibility for your actions and being a big girl and admitting I was ultimately responsible was a very healing step. The next tough question for me was "why do you give up on yourself?" We are hurt and disappointed when someone lets us down and our feelings are hurt and we feel unimportant. Now multiply that by 10, because when you do it to yourself it is that much more damaging! We all have a tendency to be our own worst enemy and beat ourselves up, but when you've become a professional at it the damage you cause to your own self esteem is enormous! And sometimes when you've beaten yourself down so low it is very easy to slip into the victim mentality anytime something happens to you. And then instead of standing up and fighting for yourself you lay down and take it. You begin to tell yourself that you deserve it. Instead of telling yourself that you are WORTHY of all good things. Next thing you know life is flying by and the 5 yr. plan has turned into a 10 yr. plan and all the while in the back of your mind your still not even believing it CAN happen for you. How could you when you feel so low about yourself? It doesn't equal up. You can't have all your heart desires when your energy is beating you up half the time and not believing in you the other half.
It takes a daily effort to move forward. It doesn't just come naturally. We have to do what we fear because the courage it takes to step forward will make you proud of yourself. And nothing builds your own self esteem than being proud of you and who you are and what you're accomplishing. It takes a purpose to be what you want to be. If your only doing something for money I dare say you will fizzle out eventually. What is your purpose? What drives you? What is the legend you want to leave behind?
You are WORTH it! You are worth the effort and you are bigger than what is holding you back. If it is diet and exercise than you are bigger than another piece of chocolate or cake or whatever. You are bigger than the twerp in your head that says "just hit the snooze" "you can workout later." You are bigger than the thinking that you want to eat what you want instead of making healthy choices. Or it might be in any other area, but you have to start believing that you are bigger than the things that hold you back. The phone calls you don't want to make for fear of rejection. The confrontation with someone who is not treating you fairly. You are bigger than all of that.
I read a quote today that said "You don't have as much time as you might think." Every day is important. Our time here on earth is very limited and we don't get to decide how long it will last nor do we get to know our end date. So I know for me, I want to make it as beneficial as possible and make my relationships meaningful and fulfilling. Accomplish the things I want to and live the life I am destined for. Time is running, so I have no time to be a victim anymore. I am taking full responsibility for me, where I'm headed, what will happen next and the goals I want to accomplish and live with purpose instead of regret.
"You will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor." - Aristotle
"Always remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think and twice as beautiful as you'd ever imagined." - unknown
